Sunday, February 26, 2012

A WORLD WITHOUT TECHNOLOGY



A WORLD WITHOUT TECHNOLOGY





 In this modern age, technology is everywhere. As human beings, we thrive on technology. We feed off of it or more like it feeds off of us. It is the Edward Cullen to us Bella Swans. What if one day, technology just vanished into thin air? Would we survive?
Yes we can if Swan survived in New Moon without Cullen, we can survive without technology. Of course she went a bit suicidal, but she survived nonetheless so let’s not think about that.
We have become too dependent on our “Edward Cullen”. He has impregnated the human race with demon children (obsessive technology-crazed children); children that will live huddled in caves with their precious iPads and Playstations. He has basically created a bridge linking the world of sparkling vampires and fake werewolves with the world of elves, dwarves, hairy hobbits, grey wizards that die and reincarnate into white wizards, and giant eyeballs made of fire. A bridge linking a world of near-perfection to a world filled with evil and corruption.  A bridge of doom. A bridge into a world that we fear to live in. A bridge that brings us into the world of one bajillion Smeagols/Gollums.
In the words of J.R.R. Tolkien, “One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in darkness bind them.” The Ring is our savior. The Boy Scouts will be our Ring. They have learned to survive in the wilderness. They have been trained to assist the elderly. They have united. They have defended. They will unite us. They will use their knot tying skills to bind us. That is, until we toss them into Orodruin. One toss and down follows the Smeagols/Gollums. The tainted children will be eliminated and the human race will be saved.
Children are the future. We have two options. We can 1. Kill all the children or 2. Create rigorous survival course to include in the school curriculum.
Killing all the children will kill the human race. On the bright side, the human carbon footprint will decrease significantly and possibly end this global warming rubbish. We can kill the problem at its root. We can either die off on our own terms or suffer through having to rebuild society. There is the problem of where to put all the bodies though…
The survival course will train the future of the world to endure without technology. At age five, adolescents would be placed into the wild to fend for themselves with nothing but minimal training, the clothes on their backs, and a notebook. The children would have to provide their own food, water, and shelter. Through this process, Super Scouts will be created. They will be able to lead the human race into the age of super independency!
Dependency will be defeated. Independency will reign supreme once more. Huzzah!
Our existence depends on you. Choose wisely.

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